令人爆笑的英語故事
在學習、工作乃至生活中，大家都經(jīng)常接觸到文案吧，文案用于分享自己的生活態(tài)度和人生感悟。那些被廣泛運用的文案都是什么樣子的呢？下面是小編為大家收集的令人爆笑的英語故事，歡迎大家分享。
令人爆笑的英語故事1
Midway Tactics
Three competing store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall. Observers waited for mayhem to ensue.
The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, "Gigantic Sale!" and "Super Bargains!"
The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, "Prices Slashed!" and "Fantastic Discounts!"
The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, "ENTRANCE".
譯：中間戰(zhàn)術(shù)
三個互相爭生意的商店老板在一條商業(yè)街上租用了毗鄰的店鋪。旁觀者等著瞧好戲。
右邊的零售商掛起了巨大的招牌，上書：“大減價!”“特便宜!”
左邊的商店掛出了更大的招牌，聲稱：“大砍價!”“大折扣!”
中間的商人隨后準備了一個大招牌，上面只簡單地寫著：“入口處”。
Five Months Older
The Second World War had begun, and John wanted to join the army, but he was only 16 years old, and boys were allowed to join only if they were over 18. So when the army doctor examined him, he said that he was 18.
But John‘s brother had joined the army a few days before, and the same doctor had examined him too. This doctor remembered the older boy‘s family name, so when he saw John‘s papers, he was surprised.
"How old are you?" he said.
"Eighteen, sir," said John.
"But your brother was eighteen, too," said the doctor. "Are you twins?"
"Oh, no, sir," said John, and his face went red. "My brother is five months older than I am."
譯：大五個月
第二次世界大戰(zhàn)開始了，約翰想?yún)④姡伤挥惺鶜q，當時規(guī)定男孩到十八歲才能入伍。所以軍醫(yī)給他進行體檢時，他說他已經(jīng)十八歲了。
可約翰的哥哥剛?cè)胛闆]幾天，而且也是這個軍醫(yī)給他做的檢查。這位醫(yī)生還記得他哥哥的姓。所以當他看到約翰的表格時，感到非常驚奇。
“你多大了?”軍醫(yī)問。
“十八，長官。”約翰說。
“可你的哥哥也是十八歲，你們是雙胞胎嗎?”
約翰臉紅了，說：“哦，不是，長官，我哥哥比我大五個月。”
令人爆笑的英語故事2
A little panda picks up a pumpkin and wants to take it home. But the pumpkin is too big. The panda can’t take it home.
一只小熊貓摘了一只大南瓜，想把它拿回家。但是這只南瓜太大了，她沒有辦法把這么大的南瓜帶回家。
Suddenly she sees a bear riding a bike toward her. She watches the bike. “I know! I have a good idea.” she jumps and shouts happily, “I can roll a pumpkin. It’s like a wheel.”
突然她看見一只狗熊騎著一輛自行車朝她這邊來。她看著自行車，跳著說：“有了！我有辦法了。我可以把南瓜滾回家去。南瓜好像車輪。
So she rolls the pumpkin to her home. When her mother sees the big pumpkin, she is surprised, “Oh, my God! How can you carry it home?” the little panda answers proudly, “I can’t lift it, but I can roll it.” Her mother smiled and says，“What a clever girl!”
于是她把那瓜滾回家。當她媽媽看到這只大南瓜的時候，很驚訝：“天啊！這么食的南瓜！你是怎么把它帶回家來的？”小熊貓自豪地說；“我拎不動它，可是我能滾動它啊！”她媽媽微笑著說：“真聰明啊！”
令人爆笑的英語故事3
It’s sunny day in spring. Miss Cat is fishing. Suddenly the fishing rod moves. “Great! Oh, it’s so heavy!” Miss Cat says happily.
這是春天里一個陽光明媚的日子，貓小姐在河邊釣魚。突然魚竿動了動。“太棒了！哇，好重啊！”貓小姐高興地喊著。
The fish is plucked out of the river. “Oh, a big fish! How big the fish is!” She cheers. But she puts the fish into the river and goes on fishing.
魚被拉出來了。“啊！一條大魚！這條大魚可真大呀！”她歡呼道。但是她卻把魚放回河里，又繼續(xù)釣魚。
At the time Mr. Horse goes by and sees it. “Why do you set it free?” He asks. “Because my pot is too small, I can’t cook it,” Miss Cat says.
這時候馬先生路過，看見這一切，就問她：“為什么你把魚放了？” “因為我的鍋太小。我沒辦法燒這么大的魚。”貓小姐回答說。
令人爆笑的英語故事4
An ox and a dog serve for the same farmer.
一頭牛和一只狗同時為一個農(nóng)夫工作。
One day the dog arrogantly says: “How grand I am! In the daytime, I watch out for the cattle in the meadows; at night, I guard the house. But you…”
一天, 狗驕傲地說著；‘我是多么重要啊！白天我在牧場看護家群，晚上我看家。而你呢…..?”
“Me? How about me?” the ox says
“我？我怎么啦？“牛反問。
“You can only plough or draw a cart,” the dog slightly says.
“你只會犁地或是拉車。”狗輕微地說。
“Yes. It’s true,” the ox says. “But if I don’t plough, what do you guard?”
“是的。你說得沒有錯，”牛回答道。“但是如果沒有我犁地，你看護什么呢？”
令人爆笑的英語故事5
一、嫁給最強壯的動物
Once there was a little ant. She wanted to get married, but she only wanted to marry the strongest creature.
She wanted to marry the strongest creature, but she didn’t know who the strongest creature is. She saw the wind blow houses down. So she thought the wind was the strongest creature. She wanted to marry the wind.
But the wind told the little ant that ht wasn’t the strongest creature. There was a tower in the forest. He had stood there for a thousand years against his force. The tower was the strongest creature.
“Why do you want to marry me?” the wind asked.
“Because you are the strongest creature in the world. You are strongest than the wind.” said the ant.
“You are right. I’m strongest than the wind. But I’m not the strongest creature in the world. Look, how I’m damaged! Can’t you guess who has done this to me? It’s you, ants.”
At last, the little ant married her own kind. Because they were the strongest creatures.
從前有一只小螞蟻。她想結(jié)婚，但她只想嫁給最強壯的人。
她想嫁給最強壯的動物，但她不知道誰是最強壯的動物。她看見風把房子吹倒了。所以她認為風是最強壯的生物。她想嫁給風。
但是風告訴小螞蟻，HT不是最強的生物。森林里有一座塔。他在那里站了一千年反抗他的隊伍。塔是最強壯的生物。
“你為什么要嫁給我？”風問。
“因為你是世界上最強壯的動物。”。螞蟻說：“你比風更強壯。”。
“你說得對。我比風更強大。但我不是世界上最強壯的動物。看，我怎么被損壞了！你猜不出是誰給我做的嗎？是你，螞蟻。”
最后，小螞蟻嫁給了她自己的同類。因為它們是最強壯的動物。
二、成功之道
A young rich man to consult a success, but the rich man took three different sizes in front of a watermelon on the youth, "If each piece of watermelon on behalf of the interests of a certain extent, you choose that piece?"
"Of course is the biggest piece of!" Young did not hesitate to answer.
Rich man smiled: "Well, please now!" Rich people to the biggest piece of watermelon to the youth, while they eat the smallest piece.
Soon, rich on the finish, and then pick up the last piece of watermelon table proudly shook the face of the young, with big stuttering.
Young people immediately understand the meaning of the rich: the rich man does not eat the melon melon young people, and eat more than young people.
If each piece of watermelon on behalf of the interests of a certain degree, then the interests of rich natural possession of more than youth.
Eating watermelon, rich youth said: "To be successful, we must learn to give up, only to give up immediate interests in order to obtain long-term Italian, and this is my success."
一個青年向一個富翁請教成功之道，富翁卻拿了三塊大小不一的西瓜放在青年面前，“如果每塊西瓜代表一定程度的利益，你選那塊?”
“當然是最大的那塊!”青年毫不猶豫地回答。
富翁一笑：“那好，請吧!”富翁把那塊最大的西瓜遞給青年，而自己卻吃起了最小的那塊。
很快，富翁就吃完了，隨后拿起桌上的最后一塊西瓜得意地在青年面前晃了晃，大口吃起來。
青年馬上明白了富翁的意思：富翁吃的.瓜雖無青年的瓜大，卻比青年吃得多。 如果每塊西瓜代表一定程度的利益，那么富翁占有的利益自然比青年多。
吃完西瓜，富翁對青年說：“要想成功，就要學會放棄，只有放棄眼前利益，才能獲取長遠大利，這就是我的成功之道。”
令人爆笑的英語故事6
In the lush, scenic lakeside, a happy family of wild geese lives. Among them, there is a wild goose, is a flying champion, the hunting expert, the geese are very envious of it. Gradually, it became proud of the geese.
When autumn came, the wild goose called all the people together and said, "tomorrow morning, we will fly to the south. It's a long way off, so be prepared."
"I'm not taking off with you. You're all flying too slow!" "The proud goose thought.
The next day, just after dawn, the wild geese began their migration. The proud goose flew out as fast as it could.
'come back, that would be dangerous! "Cried the wild goose. But the proud goose did not seem to hear it, and, after a while, it was gone.
After a few hours of flying, the wild goose family has been far behind, the proud goose is very proud: "it is a group of waste, how does this speed match with me to take off?"
Flying, the sky suddenly changed face, blowing a strong wind. Just for a moment, the proud goose was tired and hungry. It had to stop and look for food on the grass.
Just as it was enjoying the delicious fruit of the wild fruit, a fox came at it, and the wild goose flew in the air. The scene happened to be seen by the hedgehog, the hedgehog asked with concern, "why don't you take off with everyone? How dangerous it is!
"I'm a flying champion. I can fly!" "Replied the goose proudly.
As night fell, the wild goose found a quiet place to sleep. The sly fox found the wild goose again, and jumped at it. Little hedgehog just passing by, quickly huddled up, roll to the fox's mouth in the past, a little fox mouthful is blood, pain fox fled back to his "nest". Little hedgehog came over and said to the proud geese: "you still go with you, it's too dangerous!" The proud goose was frightened, and it began to realize its danger.
The night is deep, the wind is blowing, the thunder is thundering. The heavy rain fell from the sky. The goose was shaking all over, and he felt the loneliness and fear that had never been felt before. He really regretted not having gone with us. So it decided to wait here.
The next afternoon, the proud geese finally looked forward to the wild goose family. "Welcome back!" he said happily. The proud goose bowed its head.
Under the leadership of the wild goose uncle, through the joint efforts, the wild goose family has successfully reached the destination, the arrogant goose is no longer proud.
令人爆笑的英語故事7
Mike is my little brother. He is a naughty boy.
麥克是我的小弟弟，他是個調(diào)皮的孩子。
On Sunday morning Mike went into the yard and played with a dog. Sometimes a birdwould come down to stay on the top of the dog's house. Then Mike threw a stone at it. Suddenly the little boy began crying. Mother ran to Mike and asked him what was wrong. He said, “I've broken sister's plate. She has beaten me.” “Why?” “I threw it at a bird, and it went straight to the plate.”
星期天的早上，麥克跑到院子里跟小狗玩。恰巧，一直小鳥落在狗舍上，麥克就用石頭砸它。突然，這個小男孩哭了起來。媽媽跑過去問出了什么事。他哭著說：“我姐姐盤子摔碎了，她打了我！”“為什么？”“我拿石頭砸一直小鳥，但是卻打碎了姐姐的盤子。”
Such was my naught brother.
哎，這是我淘氣的弟弟。
令人爆笑的英語故事8
Long ago there was a chess master named Qiu whose chess skills were superlative.
Qiu had two students who studied chess with him, one student studied with concentrated focus and energy. The other, however, wasn’t like that, he thought studying chess was very easy, and there was no need to take it seriously. When the teacher was explaining, although the [the student] sat there, his eyes seemed to be on the chess pieces, he was actually thinking: “If I go to the countryside right now and shoot a goose, I’ll have a lovely dinner.” Because he was always indulging in flights of fancy and absent-mindedness, nothing the teacher said ever sunk in.
As a result, although the two students studied were taught at the same time by the same master, one improved quickly and became a superior chess player, while the other never learned much at all.
從前有一個下棋能手名叫秋，他的棋藝非常高超。
秋有兩個學生，一起跟他學習下棋，其中一個學生非常專心集中精力跟老師學習。另一個卻不這樣，他認為學下棋很容易，用不著認真。老師講解的時候，他雖然坐在那里，眼睛也好像在看著棋子可心里卻想著：“要是現(xiàn)在到野外射下一只鴻雁，美餐一頓該多好。 ”因為他總是胡思亂想心不在焉，老師的講解一點也沒聽進去。
結(jié)果，雖然兩個學生同是一個名師傳授，但是，一個進步很快，成了棋藝高強的名手，另一個卻沒學到一點本事。
令人爆笑的英語故事9
I have a lovely dog named Bobby.He looks pretty with short legs,big ears and short tail.He is my good friend and he is also easy to take care of.I walk him at least twice a day,feed him and spend time with him.He also gives his love to me in return.
He is always there to lick me and lie on me.I like playing with him.I think he can tell when I am happy,sad,angry or troubled.Sometimes he can be noisy and run around the room.In a word,he is not only my dog,but also my friend.
I love him. He can roll on the floor. He can play balls with me. He can look after my house when I am out. Bobby is very clever. But sometimes he isn’t.
One day Bobby runs away. He is out for three days. After he comes back, I tie him to a tree and give him some food. Bobby begins to eat. But then he stops. He sees a fox. The fox is looking at his food. Bobby barks and barks. He wants to catch the fox. But he can’t. The fox runs round the tree. Bobby runs after the fox. So the rope goes ground the tree. Of course Bobby can’t run. Quickly he eats up the food and runs away.
令人爆笑的英語故事10
The little bird flew away, feeling a little tired, just trying to find a place to rest. Suddenly, "whimpering," there was a sad cry in the distance. Who was this?
I flew close to worry, it was a little squirrel. "Little squirrel, why are you crying so sad?" he asked softly. "The little squirrel said sadly," my two companions starved to death two days ago. You see, the trees here are almost all cut off." The bird looked around, and it was not right. The place had been here before, and she said, "it used to be a thick forest, and the air was fresh. Many animal friends like to get together here... "The little squirrel cried even more bitterly. The bird watched the little squirrel cry and said, "don't cry, you still go to find a place where you can live, and then you say goodbye to the little squirrel.
The little bird went on flying, and felt thirsty. He flew to a small river, and just wanted to drink water, but there came a painful groan from the water. Don't drink the water, the water... The pollution is serious, you see... Look, my brothers and sisters are almost dead... "Because I was so thirsty, I didn't look at it closely, but I couldn't help but gasp. The river. Many of the fish were poisoned to death, and even if they did not die, they were doomed.
Bird trying in vain thirsty, continue to fly ah fly, insist on not to live any longer, finally came to the human residential, she finally can your thirst, she meet to drink a full, and then began her journey.
The little bird flew on and on, but today, what happened? She felt very tired, she seemed to have a cold, she had difficulty breathing, she flew, she could not hold on any longer, she slowly fell to the side of the hut. In her coma, she seemed to hear the distant factory "thundering" of the machine, not far away, a chimney blowing smoke... She even vaguely saw a very high sign that read: death zone.
Then she heard death scream: come, there are so many of your friends here... Poor in vain, she wished to say to mankind, "mankind, mankind, cherish the earth, that is to cherish yourselves! "
Can you hear the bird, man?
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