超短英語小笑話（通用11篇）
笑話是一個漢語詞匯，意思是引人發(fā)笑的話或事情。笑話具有篇幅短小，故事情節(jié)簡單而巧妙，往往出人意料，給人突然之間笑神來了的奇妙感覺的特點。以下是小編幫大家整理的超短英語小笑話，供大家參考借鑒。
超短英語小笑話 1
I have always tried to be open and honest with my children whenever they came to me with questions, but six-year-old Peter caught me off guard one evening when he bounced in at dinner time and asked, "Mom, when you get married, does that make you pregnant?" "No," I answered, "Getting married is not what makes you pregnant." "Well," he persisted, "how do you get pregnant then?" Not wishing to get into such a serious discourse just before dinner, I answered, "Peter, its a sort of a long story." Within an impish look on his little face, he cocked his head and replied, "You dont know, do you?"
超短英語小笑話 2
When Tom Howard was seventeen years old he was as tall as his father, so he began to borrow Mr. Howards clothes when he wanted to go out with his friends in the evening. Mr. Howard did not like this, and he always got very angry when he found his son wearing any of his things. One evening when Tom came downstairs to go out, his father stopped him in the hall. He looked at Toms clothes very carefully. Then he said angrily, "Isnt that one of my ties, Tom?" "Yes, Father, it is," answered Tom. "And that shirts mine too." "Yes, thats yours too," answered Tom. "And youre wearing my belt!" said Mr. Howard. "Yes, I am, Father," answered Tom. "You dont want your trousers to fall down, do you?"
超短英語小笑話 3
4-4=? One day, the teacher inquired Peter: "How much is four minus four?" Peter was tongue-tied. the teacher got angry and said: "What a fool! You see, if I put four coins in your pocket, but there is a hole in your pocket and all of them leak out, now what is left in your pocket?" "The hole," replied Peter.
超短英語小笑話 4
盡管讀
When we work evenings .we often order take-out food at the office.One night we all gave our orders to Sharon, who wrote the selections on a self-stick note. Unable to find our list when she arrived at the fastfood restaurant, Sharon stepped up to the counter. But before she could speak, the cashier recited the exact order. " How could you possibly know that?"asked Sharon.
在我晚上上夜班的辦公室，大家常常訂些外賣食品來吃。一天夜里，我們都找沙倫訂了食品。她把訂單列在一張不干膠的紙條上。等她到了飯店時，怎么也找不到那張訂單了。沙倫走到柜臺前，還沒等她說話，收銀員就背出了所有大家訂的`東西。沙倫問:“你怎么會知道這些的呢?”
"Tts right there," replied the cashier,"stuck to your chest."
“它就在這兒，”收銀頁說:“貼在了你的胸前。”
超短英語小笑話 5
In England nobody under the age of eighteen is allowed to drink in a public bar.
Mr. Thompson used to go to a bar near his house quite often，but he never took his son，Tom，because he was too young. Then when Tom had his eighteenth birthday， Mr.Thompson took him to his usual bar for the first time.They drank for half an hour，and then Mr.Thompson said to his son，“Now， Tom，I want to teach you a useful lesson.You must always be careful not to drink too much. And how do you know when youve had enough？ Well， Ill tell you.Do you see those two lights at the end of the bar？ When they seem to have become four，youve had enough and should go home.”
“But， Dad，” said Tom，“I can only see one light at the end of the bar.”
在英國，十八歲以下的人不準進酒吧喝酒。
湯普森先生以前常常去他家附近的一個酒吧喝酒，但他從來不帶他的兒子湯姆去，因為他年紀太小。后來，當(dāng)湯姆年滿十八歲的時候，湯普森先生第一次帶他去他常去的那家酒吧。他們喝了半個小時，而后，湯普森先生對他兒子說：“湯姆，現(xiàn)在我要告訴你一個有益的`教訓(xùn)。你必須時時小心不要喝得太多。你怎么知道你喝夠了呢？好，我來告訴你。你看見酒吧那頭有兩盞燈嗎？當(dāng)那兩盞燈看起來變成四盞的時候，你就喝夠了，應(yīng)該回家了。
“可是，爸爸。”湯姆說：“在酒吧那頭我只能看見一盞燈。”
超短英語小笑話 6
Put your feet in把腳放進去
The school girl was sitting with her feet streched far out into the aisle ,and was busily chewing gum, when the teacher espied her. "Mary !" called the teacher sharply. "Yes,Madam?" questioned the pupil , "Take that gum out of your mouth and put your feet in!"
一個女學(xué)生坐在座位上，嘴里起勁地嚼著口香糖，腳卻伸到課桌間的走道里，被老師發(fā)現(xiàn)了。“瑪麗!”老師嚴厲地叫她。“什么事，老師?”這女學(xué)生問。“把口香糖從嘴里拿出來，把腳放進去。”
超短英語小笑話 7
Mother sent Tommy to the store across the street to buy a good box of matches.
When Tommy came back,mother asked him,”Did you buy a good box of matches?”
“Yes,Mum.”Tommy replied,”I have tried them all.”
媽媽讓湯米去馬路對面的`商店里買一盒好用的火柴。
湯米回來后，媽媽問他，“你買的是好用的火柴嗎？”
“是的，媽媽。”湯米回答，“我把它們都試過了。”
超短英語小笑話 8
A Present 凱特的'禮物
Kate: Mom, do you know what Im going to give you for your birthday?
Mom: No, Honey, what?
Kate: A nice teapot.
Mom: But Ive got a nice teapot.
Kate: No, you havent. Ive just dropped it.
凱特：媽媽，你知道我要給你一件什么生日禮物嗎?
媽媽：不知道，寶貝，是什么呀?
凱特：一把漂亮的茶壺。
媽媽：可是我已經(jīng)有一把漂亮的茶壺了呀。
凱特：不，你沒有了。我剛剛把它給摔了。
超短英語小笑話 9
Teacher of Physical Education: Have you ever seen mixed doubles，boys？
Nick: Yes，sir. Quite of ten. I saw it even last night.
Teacher: Please tell us some thing about it.
Nick: Oh，sorry，sir. My father always says, "Domestic shame should not be published.”
體育老師：孩子們，你們見過男女混合雙打嗎？
尼克：見過，老師，經(jīng)常見。就在昨天夜里我還見過呢！
老師：那你給大家講講當(dāng)時的情形吧。
尼克：啊，對不起，老師。我爸爸常說:“家丑不可外揚。”
超短英語小笑話 10
Three competing store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall.Observers waited for mayhem to ensue.
三個互相爭生意的商店老板在一個商場租用了相互毗鄰的店鋪。旁觀者等著瞧好戲。
The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying，"Gigantic Sale!”and "Super Bargains!”
右邊的零售商掛起了巨大的招牌，上書:“大減價!”“特便宜!”
The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming，“Prices Slashed”and“Fantastic Discounts!”
左邊的商店掛出了更大的'招牌，聲稱:“大砍價!”“狂打折!”
The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated，“ENTRANCE".
中間的商人隨后準備了一個大招牌，上面只簡單地寫著:“入口處”。
超短英語小笑話 11
While the doctor was looking over the man, his wife kept fussing(煩躁，發(fā)牢騷) andjabbering(快而含糊地說) all the time. The doctor told her: "Your husband must get absolute rest and quiet." Then he left some sleeping pills.
The mans wife asked, "When do I dive them to my husband?" The doctor replied, "No, they are not for him. They are for you. You need them."
有個人生病了。他的妻子請了一位醫(yī)生來給他治病。
醫(yī)生在給他治療的時候，他的妻子一直大驚小怪，神神叨叨地緊張不安。醫(yī)生對她說：“你的`丈夫必須絕對休息和保持安靜。” 然后他就留下了一些。
她問醫(yī)生：“什么時候給我丈夫吃這些藥呀!”醫(yī)生回答說：“不用，這些藥不是給他吃的，是給你吃的，你需要。”
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