2016爆笑英語笑話大全笑破你的肚子
一個人的聰明才智會在幽默的談吐中閃光，并且會深深吸引他人。下面，小編給大家收集整理了2016爆笑英語笑話大全笑破你的肚子，增加幽默細胞，聰明的你一定會成為閃光點。
2016爆笑英語笑話大全笑破你的肚子一
Three turtles decided to have a cup of coffee.
三只烏龜決定去喝咖啡。
Just as they got into the cafe, it started to rain.
它們剛到咖啡店的門口，就下起雨來。
The biggest turtle said to the smallest one, " Go home and get the umbrella."
于是最大的那只烏龜對最小的烏龜說，“你回家去取傘吧。”
The little turtle replied, "I will, if you don't drink my offee."
最小的烏龜說，“如果你們不把我的咖啡喝了，我就去。”
"We won't," the other two promised.
“我們不喝，”另外兩只烏龜答應說。
Two years later the big turtle said to the middle turtle, "Well, I guess he isn't com#ing back, so we might as well drink his coffee."
兩年后，大烏龜對中烏龜說，“好吧，我猜他肯定不回來了，我們可以把它的咖啡喝掉了。”
Just then a voice called from outside the door, "If you do, I won't go."
正在這時，一個聲音從門外傳來，“你們要是喝了，我就不去。”
2016爆笑英語笑話大全笑破你的肚子二
What a big deal
A young businessman had just started his business, and rented a beautiful office. Sitting there, he saw a man come into the outer office. Wishing to appear busy, the businessman picked up the phone and pretended that he had a big deal working. He threw huge figures around and made giant commitments. Finally, he hung up and asked the visitor. “Can I help you?” The man said, “Sure. I’ve come to install the phone.”
我是來裝電話的一個年輕人剛剛開始做生意，就租了一個漂亮的辦公室。一天，他坐在辦公室里，看到有一個人在外面，于是他就裝作生意很忙的樣子，拿起電話胡吹亂侃，還不停的甩出幾個大數字，好像在談一筆大買賣。到了最后，他終于掛了電話，問來訪的人，“有事兒嘛?”那個人回答，“我是來給你安裝電話的。”
2016爆笑英語笑話大全笑破你的'肚子三
while proudly showing off his new apartment to friends, a college student led the way into the den(私室，賊窩) . what is the big brass gong(鑼) and hammer for? one of his friends asked. that is the talking clock, the man replied. how's it work?
watch, the man said and proceeded to give the gong an ear shattering pound with the hammer. suddenly, someone screamed from the other side of the wall, knock it off, you idiot! it's two o'clock in the morning!
一個學生帶他朋友們參觀他的新公寓，甚是得意。那個大銅鑼和錘子是干什么用的?他的一個朋友問他。那玩意兒厲害了，那是一個會說話的鐘，學生回答。這鐘怎么工作的，他的朋友問�？粗�，別眨眼了，那學生走上前一把操起銅鑼和錘子，拼命地敲了一下，聲音震耳欲聾。突然，他們聽到隔壁墻那邊有人狂叫，別敲了，你這白癡!現在是凌晨兩點鐘了!。”
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